working on usefulness.

i was just thinking of that night auditor job i interviewed for. my grandma would work the overnight shift making medical parts at lake region (until she retired.. she must've worked there around 20 years i think?). i don't think i ever asked her why she worked late all the time but i'm assuming it's because she had the same sleeping problems that i do. she couldn't sleep at night- so she may have figured that she should make herself constructive and work instead of lay in bed at night with her eyes closed, hoping she'll eventually fall asleep. (i'm not positive that's how she felt but that's my normal sleep routine basically every night) she WAS also damned with having to depend on a CPAP machine to sleep also (she often raved at how much it helped her sleep and i needed to get one but at that time- my insurance acted like i wasn't eligible for a life saving device like that..) i don't remember her working the day shift in my life- maybe it's my memory problems but i honestly don't remember- all i can remember is her working night shift. i also noticed another possible similarity to her.. i've developed this little patch of red bumps right by my right shoulder. i was wondering if maybe i was allergic to my deodorant but that's not exactly where i put deodorant on. i also have been using the same brand of body wash (ivory and i read it's supposedly the best for skin).. so i'm pretty sure it's not that. i remember my grandma getting rashes on her skin (which would actually turn black and blue for whatever reason) and she told me it was psoriasis and that i'd never have to worry about getting it since my skin was so healthy and tan. grandma is more than likely WRONG AGAIN (i say "again" because i still remember her telling me that the united states would never elect a black man to be president.. so that was obviously before obama and she didn't live to see either of obama's terms). my genetics are fuckin me again. what's new? i gotta ask the nurse when she comes to my place in like 5 minutes if this is psoriasis and i need to show her the rash.
i managed to schedule another job interview since the lady had messaged me on indeed, interested in hiring me. i'm pretty sure this may just be for the weekend shifts but anything to get me more experience. i really don't have anything better to do. i remember seeing a girl who gave me problems at camp courage one year at the job when i was training for it before and i'm not sure if she told them something bad about me- so they never ended up calling me back after the interview. i don't know what that girl's problem is but she needs to figure shit out about how to help HERSELF so she doesn't take it out on others. i hate shitty people like that- so she also helped me to decide to stop going to camp.. I'M NEVER GOING BACK. i'm not sacrificing my presence for jealous, pretentious idiots ANYWHERE EVER AGAIN. *gasp* YES i DO have INTEGRITY and a mind of MY own. go screw yourself. not everything is genetic.